Musings · Parenting Style

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids

PP
I purchased this lovely book last May and I’ve kept on picking it up, reading a chapter and then setting it down.

I blame the year of reading drudge trying to keep up with the book reviews for a sister blog.  At least, that’s what I tell myself.

But with the New Year has come renewed vim and vigour and this will be my first Off The Bookshelf book for 2014.  Lucky for me and my kids then, eh?

A while back I tried out the idea of a good behaviour star chart for me, awarded by the kids.  This fizzled out.  Mostly because I kept forgetting and partly because it was a bit depressing.  Did I mention that a good bit of the last half of last year was pretty stressful? No? Well it was.

But that was then, and now is now.

I’m loving the book.  I’ve finished the first section and am in to the second.  It all makes perfect sense and intuitively I know it’s right, and right for me.  I’m not so right for it, but then perfection is only something to strive for and not expect to achieve.  To that end, and to try and help me along my parenting growth path, I’ve decided that I need to set myself some new rules and see what sort of impact they have on improving my relationship with my kids.  (Which isn’t dreadful, I must hasten to mention!  But there’s always room for improvement – especially self-improvement.)

So we have some new House Rules (mostly for my benefit rather than the kids), and the really important ones are:

– special time each day with each child, one on one.  (30 minutes minimum)
– twelve hugs a day (at least!)

There are also a couple of technology related rules too.  I love technology and what it can do to aid learning, but sometimes it just sucks your brain out – adult and child – so there are now strict limitations on its use.

I’ve also re-introduced the sticker chart idea, but in a simplified form – if the kids think I’ve been a great (non-shouty) Mummy they can give me a sticker at the end of the day.  This now goes on the bottom of each page in my diary.  A really visible reminder of how I’m tracking in being less bossy, less controlling, more connected, and an improved role model.

The upshot of all these small changes is the wish to model better behaviour, continue to keep closely attached to my kids and foster a great foundation for a life-long relationship based on love, courtesy, caring and connection.  Step one is now underway, I’m hopeful that it will produce positive results and reduce a lot of tantrum and stroppy attitude issues that had begun to raise their heads in the latter part of last year.  And that was only in the adult!   😉

How about you? Any great, inspirational books on parenting you’d like to recommend?  Leave a comment if something has inspired you to be a better parent.


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